Bitch-Back! What’s Going on With Rihanna and Chris?

Dear Ted:As someone who works with domestic violence victims every day, I see situations just like the one with Rihanna and Chris Brown (text messaging leading to beat down with a dash of strangulation thrown in). While I hope it is true that she has taken "a break" from him, it would have been unusual if she hadn't gone back to him. This is a difficult cycle to break. What I don't understand is why no one is seeing this supposed sex tape for what it is: an attempt by Chris Brown and his minions to intimidate her from testifying against him. It's awfully convenient that it surfaced just after she left him to take "a break." Am I the only one who finds this suspicious?—Megan
Dear Sexmailed:Honestly, Megan, there was never a real break between them, just crisis mode over at Rihanna's PR camp. Unfortunately, when you're in that kind of vicious cycle (as I'm sure you know), she's not going to be able to just up and leave him. I hope they both get the help they need...separately.
Dear Ted:I was just reading Lindsay Lohan's recent claim: "I don't drink, I don't do drugs and I don't lie." Am I correct in thinking she's either (a) lying, (b) in serious denial about her life or (c) all of the above? I think it's sad. I wonder what kind of wake-up call it would take for her to pause and examine her life. Any thoughts? —Emily
Dear Shine Me On:Obviously, darling.
Dear Ted:Why can you not get an effing life and stay out of other people's business?